Running
by Queen Em
Summary: 'Fighting every natural instinct, Teresa Lisbon stood there, gun aimed at Patrick Jane.' Two damaged and broken people in damaged and broken love, how long can they play this game until one of them finally runs? Jisbon.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all!**

**I seem to have taken an inadvertent hiatus from writing- life seems to get in the way sometimes, so I do hope you enjoy my somewhat of a comeback!**

**I wrote this around the time Jane got back from Vegas so there shouldn't be any spoilers and this will be around 4/5 parts. I wanted to explore the notion of loving someone you shouldn't and how far a person will go for that love.**

**Please note I don't own any of the characters of the lovely Adam Lambert's song, 'Running'.**

**I would love any thoughts and feedback and I do hope you enjoy!**

**Peace Out**

**QE x**

**Running**

_'Round and around I'd go, addicted to the numb_

_Living in the cold,_

_The higher, the lower the down, down, down._

_Sick of being tired and sick of waiting_

_For another kind of fix,_

_The damage is damning me down, down, down._

_My heart's beating faster, I know what I'm after._

_I've been standing here my whole life,_

_Everything I've seen twice, now it's time I realize_

_It's spinning' back around now, on this road I'm crawling_

_Save me cause I'm falling, now I can't seem to breathe right_

_Cause I keep running from my heart.'_

_**-Adam Lambert**_

"This is it Lisbon!" Jane proclaimed, pacing around the dingy attic almost manically, "This is what I've been waiting for, Lorelei is going to lead me straight to Red John, I can taste the revenge!"

"Jane," Lisbon said quietly, almost desperately, "think about what you're saying, you need to calm down."

"Calm down!" His voice was rising, a nasty edge creeping in, "do you not understand what is happening?"

"I understand that you sound like a crazy person! God Jane, this whole thing is crazy can't you see that? I've always supported you with Red John but this is too far. Come on, you're trusting the word of a crazy woman who you've been drooling over for the last year!"

"I have not been drooling over her, she means nothing to me." He snapped.

"It's sick Jane!" Lisbon retorted hotly, "The first woman you've been with since your wife works for the man who killed her and you're claiming you're ok with that- listen to yourself, its sick! Don't do this Jane, please, I can't watch you destroy yourself."

"How noble of you Saint Teresa," He mocked cruelly, "You don't know what its like Lisbon, I need to do this I need to extract my revenge, I need to see him dead.' Jane's voice was vicious and he paced wildly, 'you've obviously never cared about anything or anyone enough to risk everything for. Lisbon if you had any sort of compassion, any sort of love you would understand what I'm doing!"

Lisbon felt like she had been punched in the stomach and tears started to cloud her vision. Jane felt the tension and immediately regretted what he'd said and turned away.

"Jane..." Her voice was dangerously close to cracking and she had to look away. "Please don't do this. I'm going to go but when you've calmed down you know where I am." She turned to leave, "don't say I don't care, don't ever say that Jane, I've loved, I've lost, I've felt pain, don't ever say I don't care." With that she turned on her heel and left the room not bothering to fight the tears that were trickling down her face.

Jane sipped his tea but his shaking hands betrayed him as the hot liquid splashed into the saucer and he put the teacup down with a clatter. He regretted what he said to Lisbon, he hadn't meant to hurt her, he didn't even mean what he said, that woman was a saint and he knew dam well how much she had sacrificed for him. Jane hated himself for it but couldn't help getting so worked up. He was onto something; he knew it and it scared him. He was scared he was in too deep, scared others were in too deep, that she was in too deep. He sighed, he had gone and got emotionally involved, there wasn't supposed to be anything between him and revenge, but there was, the four people who had made him human again, especially a raven haired little firecracker who had put her life on the line for him several times. Cursing, he sat on the bed heavily and allowed his mind to wander.

_Jane felt the makeshift bed jolt; it wasn't the sturdiest of constructions and the weight of another person didn't help. The small body shifted and Jane felt an arm drape across his chest and he smiled softly. He wasn't sure Lisbon had intended to stay the night but when she fell asleep he didn't have the heart to wake her. He'd actually found himself rather comfortable and surprised himself that he had slept peacefully through the night in a dreamless sleep. Lisbon had come up to his attic almost in tears, a case had hit a little too close to home and the scrutiny put upon her during the investigation was almost unbearable. The second an alcoholic father was involved rumors about her own past started surfacing and that wasn't something she could handle. Jane wasn't the most sympathetic of people but he had made her some tea and sat with her as she talked and held her when she eventually broke down and cried into his chest. Eventually she had drifted off to sleep, half draped over Jane and gently he'd laid down beside her, knowing he'd wake her if he moved. Jane finally woke when Lisbon's phone vibrated and she stirred, burying her head in his chest. Opening her eyes she found herself face to face with Jane, her limbs entwined with his as he held her close. Instead of awkwardness or embarrassment it felt ok, it felt right. Neither let go of the other or looked away, instead Lisbon kissed him softly on the cheek and said quietly, "thank you for letting me stay in your attic." Jane brushed her hair away from her face and said, "anytime," before bringing her into his chest for a few more moments before reality reared its head for another day. _

Jane cursed and stood up abruptly, he was going to apologize. He hadn't changed his mind in the Red John case but he couldn't bare the thought of Lisbon alone in her office, probably crying over the vile things he had said, he felt like a piece of dirt at the thought of her shedding tears over him. Taking a deep breath he stood up to leave but as he turned to leave his phone rang and his face went white.

**Thanks for reading,**

**Peace Out**

**-QE x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, favoured and followed, I am so glad you are enjoying this story and I really appreciate your support.**

**I think I'm still recovering from the season finale, literally the best thing ever and so excited to see where their relationship will go! As I said, this was set just after Jane got back from Vegas when Jisbon was far more unstable- although I like to believe they always loved each other!**

**I don't own any of the characters or the song 'Running' by Adam Lambert.**

**Enjoy,**

**QE xx**

Jane?" Lisbon called, trudging up the stairs tiredly, "Jane can I come in?" There was no answer from the attic.

"Jane, I'm coming in." Lisbon let herself in and her heart skipped a beat when she realized it was empty. On the desk there was an envelope, a half drunk cup of tea and his cell phone. The envelope had her name written on it in Jane's scrawling handwriting and with trembling hands she opened it.

_My Dearest Teresa,_

_On the desk you will find my phone, listen to the last call on it then please continue reading this letter. It is far easier for you to hear this than me waste either of our time explaining it in this letter, for when you hear it you will understand._

Lisbon picked up the phone and played the last conversation barely able to control her trembling hands.

"Hello?"

"Patrick?"

"Lorelei?"

There was loud sobbing down the phone.

"Lorelei, what is it?"

"You were right, he killed her, he killed Miranda."

"Lorelei its going to be ok, where are you, I'm going to come to you."

"No its not ok, I worked for him, I did his bidding when all this time he was using me and was getting his kicks from my pain."

"You didn't know Lorelei, it's ok its not your fault, I'm coming to get you."

"No Patrick, it's too late. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I'm in so much pain, but I want to put you out of your pain too."

"Lorelei what are you talking about?"

"The man you want is Reginald Johnson and you'll find him at 35C Lima Street."

"I'm sorry Patrick,"

"Lorelei, no!"

BANG

"Lorelei, Lorelei!"

The line went dead.

Lisbon swore out loud and went back to the letter, almost unable to hold it as her hands were shaking so much.

_Now you've heard the conversation I'm sure it's perfectly clear where I'm going and what my intentions are. Please don't try and stop me, by the time you read this I imagine it will be too late._

_Teresa, you are the most incredible woman I know and have the privilege to call my friend. You are beautiful and caring and it pains me the last conversation we had was so bitter- please forgive my words. I need you to know how special you are and how much you mean to me._

_I also want to thank you. I know what I am about to do is not something you want and perhaps don't truly understand but I will finally be free. I can fulfill my promise to avenge Angela and Charlotte's death; finally I can move on. _

_What I really want to thank you for is being there for me, putting me back together, putting up with my antics and saving me, not just from death. I've done some good in the world, finally, I've helped people and you showed me how to do that. You showed me how to live again and let me feel again. _

_Good luck Teresa and please don't worry or cry for me- I'm not worth it._

_I meant what I said last year; I love you and always will. _

_Yours,_

_Patrick_

Lisbon sobbed as she read the letter but pulled herself together quickly and stuffed the phone and letter into her jacket. She ran to her office, grabbed her piece and bolted for her car, driving faster than she ever had in her life, praying it wasn't too late, for either of them.

Lisbon reached the address, her heart hammering, and ran into the building, an abandoned shop on a lonely highway heading out of the city. She heard the unmistakable 'bang' and charged in her heart racing.

"Police!" She screamed, not even registering what was in front of her. Fighting every natural instinct she stood there, gun aimed at Patrick Jane who stood over a dead body, smoking pistol in hand. Dropping the gun to the floor Jane stood and stared at the body at his feet that had a neat gunshot wound to the chest.

"Let me see your hands!" She shrieked.

"Lisbon." His voice was not surprised, but a quiet hint of sadness shone through.

"Let me see your hands!" Jane walked towards her and she kept her gun poised, aimed right at him.

"Hands Jane, now!" Her voice was menacing.

He raised his hands and said quietly, "I'm not armed Lisbon, you know that."

"Is that Red John?" she looked at the body but didn't move.

"Can you lower your gun please?"

"Is that Red John?" she repeated, her voice shrill and threatening.

"Yes. You heard the message."

"How do you know it wasn't a fake, that Lorelei was put up to it to trick you?"

"Because I saw Lorelei's body, she was at the motel we went to when I broke her free from prison. I knew she was there. She's dead, it was suicide, I took her phone."

Lisbon didn't move, she was in shock, looking near hysterical.

"It's Red John. Do you think its Red John?" He asked.

Lisbon nodded.

"I killed him, I killed Red John."

"Oh God." Lisbon dropped her gun and it clattered loudly to the ground making Jane jump.

"Oh God." she sunk to the floor, her body shaking.

"I'm not going to fight, here." Lisbon looked up, Jane was stood over her, holding his wrists close together. He held one hand out to her and lifted her from the floor and said quietly, "I thought you'd find me, you can arrest me, it's ok."

Lisbon looked at him then at the body catching a glimpse at her gun, still sitting uselessly by her feet. Tears filled her eyes and she took his hands and reached for her cuffs. She stood there for a moment, one hand on her cuffs one hand on his, the room was silent and tense, the hammering of their hearts the only sound.

"Run." She didn't move and her voice was a whisper.

"What?"

She took his other hand in hers and finally looked at him.

"They're going to figure it out, you need to run."

"I don't understand."

Her radio flared, "Dispatch, gunshot reported at 35C Lima Street, known criminal activity, approach with caution, backup on route."

"Oh God they're coming. Run, just run!"

"Teresa," his voice was a strangled sob as he understood what she was doing, "I meant what I said in the letter, please know that, I meant every word." he whispered holding her hands tight.

"Take the gun, get rid of it. Go, please."

He held her hands for a moment then picked up his gun and put it in his waistband.

"Patrick, wait," Lisbon hurried back him and wrapped her arms around his neck, clinging onto him. She planted her lips on his; the kiss was passionate and desperate. Tongues explored mouths and hands roamed bodies, longing to touch every part of the forbidden flesh they had yearned for. The sound of wailing sirens approached and they broke away quickly, panting hard.

"Run Jane." Lisbon whispered, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Goodbye Teresa, love you."

He planted a soft kiss on her lips and ran out of the door.

"Love you too Patrick, always."

**Thanks for reading,**

**Peace Out **

**xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

Hi again, thanks so much for all the support I appreciate all the reviews, follows and favourites- means so much.

Seriously missing the Mentalist, can't wait to see what is going to happen- Jisbon all the way I hope!

I hope you enjoy this

QE xx

**Running **

Shaking almost uncontrollably, all Lisbon wanted to do was sob but her cop instincts kicked in and she grabbed her gun and did a mental check for evidence. She raced for the car and drove the opposite direction, passing the cops on her way. Although she wanted to get there quickly there was no way to explain already being there, she just hoped they wouldn't notice her driving the car. Jane meant so much to her, they weren't lovers but they were more than friends there was an unspoken bond a deep and meaningful love between them and now he was gone and would most likely be on the run or end up in jail for the rest of his life. Tears streamed down her face as the reality hit her that her best friend, someone she loved, one of the most important people in her life was gone and he was never coming back.

"_Hey," Lisbon said softly as she entered Jane's dingy attic that looked even more depressing in the dark._

"_Hey," Jane replied, "What are you still doing here?"_

"_I was worried about you, you've been up here all day."_

"_My Saint Teresa," Jane said quietly with a soft smile, "I'm fine, just going over the case."_

_Lisbon sighed sadly, she knew exactly what case he was referring to, she had practically memorized the words her self and often struggled to get the gruesome images out of her head. However she gave him a small somewhat sad smile and said, "let me have a look over it." Jane knew it was futile, they had both been over the documents thousands of times but he appreciated her gesture and invited her to sit in the chair at his desk. Lisbon sat down and turned the page of the case that had haunted them both for what seemed like an eternity. _

"_I'll make some tea," Jane said, all he had was a kettle and a few teabags but he couldn't face leaving the attic to get anything more substantial just yet._

"_Thanks," Lisbon said, as she reached for the mug she let out a wince in pain._

"_Are you ok?" Jane asked concernedly._

"_Yes, I'm just a bit stiff."_

_Jane's heart sank a little, he knew full well why she was so tense. _

"_Let me help," His voice was practically a whisper and very gently he stood behind her and placed her hands on her shoulders, instantly feeling the strain in her muscles through the thin shirt. Lisbon tensed up as he placed his hands on her but she didn't say anything and as he gently massaged her shoulders with his expert touch she gradually relaxed. _

"_I don't want you to worry about me, Teresa."_

"_I know but I care so much about you." _

"_Oh Teresa." Jane's voice was a murmur and Lisbon let out a soft moan as his touch became firmer as he kneaded her tense shoulders, she'd stopped reading the case file some time a go. She could feel Jane's body over her getting closer and she couldn't help but close her eyes and lean into Jane's strong body as his hands caressed her. Jane's hands softly touched her sensitive neck and she gasped in shocked pleasure as a pair of soft lips suddenly made contact with her skin and she became lost in the intimate sensation. Reaching back she ran her hands through Jane's unruly blonde locks causing a low grunt to escape his lips. Standing up, Lisbon threw her arms around his neck and planted her lips on his as he pulled her close needing to feel her body pressed to his._

"_Oh Patrick I've wanted this for so long," Lisbon said breathlessly, not caring that her voice sounded raspy and almost desperate._

"_Oh Teresa you're incredible." Their kiss intensified and before either knew it, Jane was pressing Lisbon against the wall who gasped as his teeth grazed her sensitive skin as he showered her with passionate kisses. Roughly, Lisbon tore at Jane's vest pulling it off his chest and he moaned as her hands roamed his body, gently running her nails down his back. A teal blouse joined the vest on the floor, a button flying off in the process and when Jane's soft lips made contact with her chest her knees buckled. Jane's shirt was swiftly undone and as Lisbon went to pull it off his back, without warning he pulled away. Gently he took her hands in his and bowed his head a little as they caught their breath._

"_We can't do this, I'm not putting you in danger."_

"_I've been in danger the second we met, I want this."_

_He took her hands, "I want this too, but the rules…"_

"_Don't bullshit me!" she snapped, shoving her hands out of his, "don't talk to me about the rules!"_

"_I'm sorry," Jane clutched her hands quickly, "I'm sorry. I don't give a dam about the CBI rules, but his rules," he trailed off, "I'm not putting a target on your back, not you Teresa, beautiful Teresa." He buried his head in her shoulder and she held him tightly, cupping his cheek, Lisbon kissed him softly letting her lips linger. For a moment they held each other the soft breathing the only sound as the partially clothed bodies clung to each other._

"_Oh Patrick," Lisbon whispered as she softly kissed him once more and Jane couldn't help but groan under her touch. Lisbon eventually let him go and walked away, scooping up her crumpled shirt she said softly, "I'll wait for you Jane." She looked into his shining blue yes and smiled sadly as she made her way to the door her shirt still open, "But I won't wait forever." Lisbon left the room without looking back leaving Jane stood there alone, a single tear rolling down his cheek._

Lisbon shook her head, trying to block the memory out and she stepped on the accelerator as tears fell down her face and she could barely keep it together when the phone rang.

"Boss, dead body at 35C Lima Street, apparent murder." It was Cho.

"Yeah I heard, I'm that way, I'll go." Lisbon didn't want the team involved and she could tell Cho knew something wasn't right, they'd known each other too long to hide such things. Lisbon cringed a little, it didn't take a genius to work out that she was crying and there was no way she would just casually be in that part of the world in the middle of the night.

"Ok, you ok Lisbon?"

"Yeah Cho, thanks. Listen, don't worry about this case ok."

"Yes Boss, take care, you know where I am."

"Thanks Cho."

Putting the phone down she fought not to break down again when she arrived back at the crime scene. Striding out of her car she did her best to fake nonchalance and professionalism, vaguely listening to what the police officers were saying. None of them had made the connection to Red John yet, but they would in time. Lisbon went to the body, trying to get the image of Jane standing over it with a gun in his hand out of her mind.

"The coroner hasn't examined the body yet." Protested a young cop.

"I am senior Agent Lisbon with the CBI, I can look at the body." She snapped flashing her ID badge.

"Yes Ma'am apologies."

The young Officer scurried off and Lisbon crouched down, relieved that there was now no one near her. Scanning the body, Lisbon saw the casing was nowhere to be seen, and she doubted Jane had picked it up. There was a blonde hair sitting on the body, near the wound, it wasn't necessarily Jane's but Lisbon looked over her shoulder and quickly swiped the hair anyway.

"My guys will be here in the morning. Seal off the crime scene and make sure the CSI's collect the evidence before the sun comes up. Thanks everyone, good night."

Leaving the room quickly, fearing she might breakdown is she stayed there another minute Lisbon hurried out without looking back. Once in her car she deposited the hair onto the passenger seat, Jane had sat there a million times. Realistically she knew that wasn't much help, the casing was around and there was no way Jane hadn't left some sort of evidence, especially as he'd been to Lorelei's body. Lisbon shuddered, feeling physically sick at the thought of Jane in the motel room staring at the body of his the lover who worked for his wife's killer in his twisted mission. The connection to Red John would be apparent soon enough and Jane's name would be thrown in. The second that happened it was game over, they couldn't investigate Jane and in all honestly Lisbon couldn't bare the thought. Tears were falling down her face and before she knew it her whole body was heaving with sobs and she had no choice but to pull over. Her cries were raw as the realization hit her like a tidal wave; she'd just thrown away everything she believed in, everything she worked for and stood for. She'd let a criminal run away, hidden evidence and lied to the police. Who was she? Lisbon didn't know what to do; she couldn't think straight, all she could do was sob. Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror she swore out loud, who was this crying hysterical mess with eyeliner down her deathly pale face, where was the strong, feisty Agent who always had the answers? She looked away and sobbed even harder, Lisbon sobbed for Jane, for the crime she just committed and sobbed for all that she had lost and was never getting back.

Thanks for reading, would love it if you took a second to review, always great to know what's going right and where I can improve!

Peace Out

QE xxx


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